{chisel}

My name is Diana. Please read my short fiction & haiku. Thanks!

Guys, I’m in love with punk!scully & hipster!mulder! I didn’t even know how much I needed this in my life. <3

If you’re my friend, you should know that the only reason I’m talking to you is because I value you. I don’t care about your cool stuff. I care about you. Your personality. Your well-being. Your uniqueness. I love all of those things about you.

Sometimes I isolate myself because I’m a depressed person that goes on constant social vacations. I feel very alone almost all of the time. I know that it’s my fault that I feel like that. It’s in my own head and I’m constantly fighting my brain gremlins.

So if it sometimes feels like I’m ignoring you, speak up. I’m probably going through a bad spell. I might not be a very good friend to you during those times, but I’m trying.

I love you. Just remember that for your own bad spells.

Whenever I hang out with @heavenpdb, I take a souvenir hand photo.

Technically four, but to keep things less confusing #threegoodthings. #latergram

Meet the blogger!

tagged by: slomotionwalter

Rules: Just insert your answers to the questions below. Tag at least 10 followers.

-Name: Diana
-Nickname: Chisel
-Gender: F
-Sexuality: Guys, I don’t even know. Pansexual?
-Height: 5’ 1”ish
-Time zone: Eastern
-What time and date is it there: 9/5/2014 2:23pm
-Average hours of sleep I get each night: 10? Too many. Or too little. Sometimes 4?
-OTPs: None
-

The last thing I Googled was: Pansexual. hahahahaha
-First word that comes to mind: confused
-What I last said to a family member: “Should I do it?” 
-One place that makes me happy and why: Japanese markets, because they remind me of my grandma & my heritage
-How many blankets I sleep under: Just one right now, but in the winter 2 comforters. Yes, two.
-Favorite beverage: Coffee. (Bubble) Tea. Horchata. Uhhh, I’m really bad at picking favorites. I love drinks!
-The last movie I watched in the cinema: Cyber Ninja 
-Three things I can’t live without: lip balm, photos of guinea pigs & living room dance parties
-Something I plan on learning: guitar
-A piece of advice for all my followers: Procrastination doesn’t make you feel better. Just do the thing! You’ll feel so relieved once it’s actually done!
-You have to listen to this song: I Regret the Day I Tried to Steal Daniel’s Ego by The Deathray Davies
-My blog(s): Green Tea Haiku, Fake Persona and Mixtapes & Polaroids
-Tagging 10 (or so): I’m not going to tag people, because I hate doing it. So please do this if you want to and make sure to tag me in it, so I can read all about the people that read my tumblr! :)

(Source: rakasrakas)

I’m really scared of letting people down. I’m much too hard on myself. So I find myself not putting myself out there, but I’m painfully aware that I do not want to die average and boring. I don’t like the idea of being forgotten and I know that will happen anyways. I hope I can change one life with a haiku or a story or my love. I used to from stories from sadness and happiness. I used to feel so much. I find myself feeling numb. I find myself filling up with anxiety to the point where I can’t feel anything else. It’s very hard for me every single day. I’ve had to walk away from a few things. I’m very sad that I had to do so. But the sweet relief that I felt afterwards. It’s okay to say no. But figure out why you’re saying no. Sometimes you don’t even know why till months afterwards.

I’m in therapy. I talk and talk and talk. I feel like I’m figuring some things out, but I have a mess of a brain and as soon as I feel confident, I drag myself down again. It’s a constant turbulent ocean inside of this mind. I wish I could just sail easily. Maybe it’s this constant buzz that keeps me alive. 

I’m starting over every single day. I wish I could go back 10 years when I was less scared of failure and the nos. When nothing could stop me, because it felt right.

I just have to find the same force that powered me then and bring it back. Bring it back and never let it go.

My hair is way too long & way too brown.

Forever on the train selfie

#tbt to last week’s #pizza adventure

wasthatnotsideblog:

just gonna say this: if someone has social anxiety and they ask you something akin to ‘are you mad at me’ or ‘do you hate me’, it isn’t because they don’t trust you, it’s because their brain literally tells them that all the time

it’s not a personal slight, it’s insecurity caused by mental illness

thanks